tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54888337871063786082011-07-07T16:34:19.945-07:00Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.comBlogger901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-90830888490746263952010-03-11T14:03:00.001-08:002010-03-11T14:03:23.619-08:00

test

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-24248783289448885782008-02-20T08:14:00.000-08:002008-02-20T08:16:48.882-08:00

I moved here because blogger has been randomly deleting posts and just in general sucking at life. So hopefully wordpress will be better. :)--dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-26035551526946383042008-01-26T01:17:00.000-08:002008-01-26T01:42:28.836-08:00

What do you do when your best friend turns out to be a complete fraud? When you find out that pretty much every word they ever said to you was a lie? I feel as if someone has ripped my heart out, doused it with rubbing alcohol, and handed it back. Is it wrong to feel like another girl has broken your heart? I thought she was my best friend. I thought she was too good to be true. Well, as it turns

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-7550910061408902052008-01-21T21:30:00.000-08:002008-01-21T21:55:22.890-08:00

I think, therefore I fear. I have an obsession with Armageddon and the end of the world. I have pretty much been interested (i.e. terrified) in since I was about 12 years old and first really comprehended the implications of death and war. I know most of the prophecies, and have researched almost all of them. I am particularly obsessed with 12.21.2012. I have nightmares about it, I will have

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-88340278466759593942008-01-15T16:05:00.000-08:002008-01-15T16:48:04.719-08:00

When is talking enough? How much is unspoken, a hand brushed across my cheek, breath on my face as words are whispered into my ear? How much can be contrived by voice and pictures sent, little arbitrary notes in stolen moments at work, movies shared from across the endless space? How long can I take this? I ache to be in the same room, sharing the same space. I've been here before, but not like

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-30931324310292711092008-01-05T13:02:00.000-08:002008-01-05T19:21:53.535-08:00

Bored and lonely. The weather today and yesterday has been bad. Really bad, especially yesterday (note: if you live in some part of the world that actually has real storms, you're going to laugh at me. But this is California. We don't have real storms here). The wind blew trees and telephone poles down all over the place, roads were closed, and pretty much the only part of town that still had

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-38358336548354099572007-12-31T21:31:00.000-08:002007-12-31T21:55:51.976-08:00

Well, here we are on the eve of a whole new year. I have spent this year in a holding pattern, and only now am I beginning to take off. Will gravity hold me earthbound, or will I break free and soar? Only time will tell. I can only hope that I will make it. So, as tradition dictates, I am here to outline my goals for 2008. With a bit of luck and a whole truckload of determination, I will conquer

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-86691451128817694572007-12-29T07:28:00.001-08:002007-12-29T07:38:56.305-08:00

I completely forgot the most important news of all: I moved. I now have my very own apartment. For the first time ever. Due to a mess of complicated and asinine mistakes by the management, it turned out that my mom and I didn't didn't qualify for the 3 bedroom apartment. So they asked us to move out. Obviously, I was very upset. There was no way I could afford rent anywhere else, and my Mom and I

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-70735906741419813492007-12-29T06:25:00.000-08:002008-12-08T17:50:20.190-08:00

Hi blog, remember me? Yeah, me neither. So I have not written anything in a ridiculously long period of time, partially due to being insanely busy and partially because I'm just lazy. But I thought I would get back into the swing of things before the new year. Best to start off on the right foot, or I might not start off at all. In the past month(ish) I've been having some interesting things

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-75949814437981699842007-12-03T15:33:00.001-08:002007-12-03T15:50:24.999-08:00

I feel electric. There's really no other way to describe it. I haven't been this exhilarated in... years, honestly. I spent 10 hours (yes, you heard right, TEN. FULL. HOURS. That's 3 phone changes because my battery ran out and I had to switch to the house phone and vice versa, and innumerable disconnects because of my crappy cell signal) on the phone with Evan yesterday. He didn't call me and I

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-86193887375334156092007-12-02T14:50:00.000-08:002007-12-02T15:21:20.797-08:00

I don't know why, well, I sort of do, but today I feel insanely nervous. It's rediculous. I feel far more nervous than I ever do about getting up on stage. It's the hollow nervousness in the pit of my stomach that keeps hinting that it may decide to cause me to throw up any moment. I sort of know the reason, but even that is incredibly rediculous. There's a guy, Evan, who I dated a few years back

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-28802513771376700522007-12-01T15:53:00.000-08:002007-12-01T15:59:52.827-08:00

Mom's moving out. She and Sam are going to move back in with Russ, my stepdad. So Samantha, a friend I've had since I was 13, and Christian, her boyfriend, are going to move in with me. Do you know what that means??? I GET A ROOM ALL TO MYSELF!!!! Sweet! Chase and I will take the upstairs bedrooms and they'll take the downstairs bedroom, and so I'll finally have a room all to myself devoid of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-53752923077944913482007-11-24T00:02:00.001-08:002008-12-08T17:50:20.356-08:00

It's funny, I haven't been writing lately because there is too much to write. I don't write often enough and so everything builds up and I feel overwhelmed because when I sit down at the computer something always comes up. So I end up saying nothing. How silly is that? Anyway, I took Chase to the mall on Sunday to get his picture taken with Santa. This is by far the best Santa ever, I'd have to

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-13316745625696981852007-11-21T23:20:00.001-08:002008-12-08T17:50:21.049-08:00

It has been my long-standing tradition to wear a Santa hat on Thanksgiving.I have decided to implement a similar tradition with Chase, at least until he is old enough to protest:(tell me this isn't the cutest face)I very much love to dress him up in various cute things. For example:And of course, my favorite, the Biker Buffin:I loves me some cheeky outfits :D --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-16534982093125675222007-11-16T22:32:00.000-08:002007-11-16T22:49:29.068-08:00

Life isn't going so well.I just started a new job and I tried to quit today. The only reason I didn't quit is because the owners, Andy and Cyndy, made me feel so much better. We sat down and talked about it and they were completely understanding. I feel like a wreck. I had the worst day. Everything was going wrong. I just freaked out. I couldn't do anything right, everything was just so

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-61142823944062154142007-11-12T22:19:00.000-08:002007-11-12T22:21:14.828-08:00

I finally found a new job, by the way. Merry Maids. And I go to the college on Saturday to register for my spring classes. Things are finally starting to fall in to place. Almost, anyway. Thank goodness. --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-33768552388310483752007-11-12T22:04:00.000-08:002007-11-12T22:31:17.505-08:00

I am so tired.I am smart. I am a very hard worker. I am a loyal and dedicated friend. I take pride in myself, my work, and my effect on others. I sometimes complain too much, but I try not to. All my life, people expect more from me than they do from others, because I am smart, I am a hard worker, I am a loyal and dedicated friend, and I have a sense of honor and pride.In school, I was expected

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-46153409915327941742007-11-09T15:51:00.001-08:002008-12-08T17:50:22.039-08:00

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-22559385807953761472007-11-07T22:38:00.000-08:002007-11-07T22:42:16.335-08:00

This is how it feels toLose controlAnd I'm trying so Hard not to take it But another night like thisI might not be ableTo make itLike I've got the choice now,Oh noSo I'm running hard for youWell past the time I should have let goLike it will change Something, no, nothingI should have let it goBut I haven't gotThe choice now, Oh noHaven't got the choice nowSo keep on pushing Hard on me nowWith

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-82393439883137925482007-10-31T23:08:00.001-07:002008-12-08T17:50:22.136-08:00

Went and saw Chevelle on the 28th. It rocked. They played with Tyler Read and 2 Cents. Very good show. I got to meet Tyler Read and have my CD signed and my picture taken with them(that's Erik and me in the middle). It was on Erik's phone though, so not a very good picture. Still, it was awesome. They were very nice. One of the guitarists gave me a quarter to buy their CD because I was short. How

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-67844828284613766262007-10-23T04:08:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:22.385-08:00

I've been rather busy lately. I didn't have internet for a week when we first moved in, and then when we did get it I didn't have a spare moment to write. Chase is being rather fussy lately. He suddenly has decided that he will wake up even more often during the night and half the time he wants to stay awake. Um, no. Sorry buddy, but that's just not happening.Suki died. We couldn't bring her or

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-33011670314636658072007-10-10T00:56:00.000-07:002007-10-10T01:18:03.736-07:00

Been feeling like crap. Things around here have been sucking incredibly hard lately-- broke, sleepless, stressed out, effing moronic me forgetting to take my meds every day so I've been feeling even more crappy, and worse, the running is in my head again. Sometimes I feel stifled, like my skin is too tight and I can't breathe, and I just want to run. When everything is a mess and I feel like

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-82059382536499348482007-10-08T05:51:00.000-07:002007-10-08T06:24:34.537-07:00

Disclaimer: I have a VERY dirty mouth. I curse like a sailor. (You can thank my high school friends for that) Please forgive me if I cause offense.I just want to sleep. How is that too much to ask? Sleep- a basic human need. But no. I get no sleep. This is partially my fault. Sort of. I don't go to bed until midnight or one. But in my defense, I usually can't fall asleep until then anyway. Then,

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-82657248047853361032007-10-02T10:00:00.000-07:002007-10-03T21:58:48.803-07:00

Dear Tami and Mari:Let me first say that for one brief moment I liked you. Then you turned into a bunch of crazy skanky bitches. You remember your other daughter, Desi, don't you, Tami? The one I was friends with all throughout high school? Well she's on permanent disability because she can't even function in the real world thanks to your effed up family, siccing all the other kids on her and

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-64563946059575550482007-09-27T17:46:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:22.770-08:00

I thought perhaps I should post something happy and lighthearted to balance out all the negative sounding posts lately. Life is not all bad, really. I'm just having a sort of bad time lately thanks to boredom, poorness, and a lack of more than 4 or 5 consecutive hours of sleep (and that's on a good night). But there are a few good things going on. There's Chase, of course (the kid's going to grow

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-52539110255965840072007-09-27T10:24:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:22.888-08:00

I had a post in mind today about being poor and how tired I was of never having enough money. Then I read Granny's newest post and found this:My father is friendly, charismatic, funny, helpful, and entertaining. He is also an abuser. People who have met him often can't believe that he could be capable of some of the things he has done. So often people believe that they would know an abusive

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-56553520327660380412007-09-25T16:22:00.000-07:002007-09-25T18:27:08.977-07:00

Yay! I've officially been tagged for a meme (Is it meem? Or me-me? Or perhaps mem?) by Cherylann. I'm so excited :)The Rules: You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-10841506200881524472007-09-21T09:12:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:23.112-08:00

My darling little Kenny died last night. We don't know what happened. My brother was giving him a bath (a common occurrence) and he started squeaking and had a seizure and died. We all cried, even Sam, who never cries. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. Today after school we're going to the fields outside of town to bury him. I'll miss him and his funny little nose and happy noises. --

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-5393047926288770362007-09-20T08:36:00.000-07:002007-09-20T09:58:52.492-07:00

I've been remembering. Little things bring up whispered words and late night phone calls. Things I haven't allowed myself to feel for more than a year are seeping through the cracks and bombarding me at unexpected moments. And it makes me feel so alone. Unworthy and so terribly alone.And it's that much harder because it comes in layers. I am alone, with no one to sing me silly songs and play

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-14506399365205441982007-09-17T15:12:00.000-07:002007-09-17T15:13:30.805-07:00

Sometimes there are pictures in my head, aching to be set free. There are words begging to be written, spoken, slashed in red sharpie on bathroom stalls. There are times when the words flow free and I feel like something, someone, like I'm alive. But there times, like now, when it would take all I have to force even a mediocre line. There is a steel door in my head, and right now it's a bulkhead

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-44684054527612778472007-09-17T11:05:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:23.463-08:00

Few things are so good for the soul as a good pair of chucks. --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-35429316505679174852007-09-16T10:09:00.000-07:002007-09-16T10:58:56.293-07:00

September has always been a month of beginnings for me. Perhaps it is because I spent so much of my life in school. Not only that, but September is when the summer begins to fade and the light shifts from the hazy gold of August to the crisp blue of October. The time changes, the nights grow longer, and the wind begins to blow. I've never had the feeling in January that I do in September, the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-88997562062958383142007-09-14T00:01:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:23.611-08:00

Not only do I have a baby, but wonder of wonders, I actually like him. I was so afraid that I'd just look at him and think, "What am I supposed to do with THAT?" Luckily that didn't happen. I am so glad.Anyway. On to the gory details...I went into the hospital Friday the 7th at 5:45am. I woke up that morning feeling very serene. I was completely unafraid. The fact that I knew I was having a

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-64322750915599249342007-09-12T06:47:00.000-07:002007-09-12T06:55:18.033-07:00

Dear Pampers Swaddlers:You suck. You so totally suck. I'm not even going to finish off the two bags of you sitting on the shelf. You're so bad that I am going to forego my normal suck-it-up and use it until it's gone mentality. That's right. You just suck that much. I don't care if the 8-14lb diapers go halfway up Chase's back, because at least they don't leak all over every single item of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-59127370688797513492007-09-09T14:07:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:23.707-08:00

I'm home! (a whole day early. Yay!)There's a lot to write, but I want to wait a bit to do it. In the meantime, statistics!Chase Jonathan Christopher L.Born 9.7.07 at 10:14am8 lbs. 4 oz., 21.5 in.The first though that I had when I heard him crying: "he's saying 'wah'... I never thought babies really said 'wah'..." Yeah... too much medication will do that to you :) --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-79436346116151173602007-09-06T19:27:00.000-07:002007-09-06T21:23:17.948-07:00

So this is it. The zero hour. I have to be there tomorrow at 5:45am... in other words, too frickin' early. I'll be in the hospital for 4 days. After tomorrow I'll no longer be just me. I'll suddenly be me + 1... what a strange thought. How do people deal with the sudden transition between only having themselves to take care of, themselves to think of, to having a whole other person who depends

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-88490083882870104072007-09-04T21:23:00.000-07:002007-09-04T22:46:21.301-07:00

Let me first say that I feel so much better. Thank you so much to everyone who commented regarding my fear of labor. Of the few people I've told so far about it, some have been very supportive while others have made it seem as if I was being selfish and unreasonable, and I was just very afraid that more people would feel that way. I have a tendency to be a shameless people pleaser, sometimes to

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-18382224664815696532007-09-02T13:16:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:23.739-08:00

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-5187386333198422402007-09-01T22:51:00.000-07:002007-09-02T00:13:50.701-07:00

I haven't written much lately because I've been afraid to write about the one thing predominantly on my mind. I am a control freak. I admit this. Perhaps because there has been so much in my life outside of my realm of control, I have become someone who craves order and organization. I need things to be logical and timely. I need to be able plan and anticipate. I hate surprises (except complete

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-35587524673045807612007-08-29T02:59:00.000-07:002007-09-02T00:14:39.850-07:00

I love books and have a tendency to get rather attached to the characters. I also get somewhat annoyed when a writer does a disservice to said characters, as was the case in this story, Beach Road by James Patterson/ Peter de Jonge. I rather like James Patterson's books. He's good at holding your interest with the right amount of suspense and putting you inside the heads of the characters. Which

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-51981933922764367522007-08-22T10:42:00.000-07:002007-09-02T00:15:37.505-07:00

Thordora got meme'd and I thought I'd join in the fun, so I asked her to tag me :)Interview rules:1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview Me."2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-24290788645667732662007-08-20T00:35:00.000-07:002007-08-20T00:38:16.574-07:00

Well, sometimes I like to think I am. Lookie what I made (yes, all by myself):Not only is it lovely to behold, but it is also functional. Click on it! How supremely awesome is that? --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-78956969712856657602007-08-18T22:50:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:24.401-08:00

GordoMy road trip buddy and foot warmer extraordinaire.SukiWho better to contemplate the sheer stupidity of humanity with?KennyThe only creature who can pee on me and get away with it (hehe good thing he doesn't have an ego!)

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-52092487420861708252007-08-17T09:47:00.000-07:002007-09-02T00:16:20.375-07:00

I feel it everyday it's all the sameIt brings me down but I'm the one to blameI've tried everything to get awaySo here I go againChasing you down againWhy do I do this? (--Three Days Grace)Sometimes I hate being me. As in, really, truly despise the person that I am. Sometimes it's because I can be a mean, heartless, firebreathing wench. (Bet you'd like to see that, huh?)

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-79746554950441051312007-08-15T22:26:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:24.515-08:00

Behold the supreme awesomeness that is my browser. I have all kinds of nifty addons that make it pretty :)Isn't it 73 kinds of spiffy? --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-32545692824800659762007-08-15T21:47:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:24.633-08:00

Remember back when I had this dream? Well, It's August 15th, and there is no immediate signs of an impending baby, so I think I'm pretty safe. Its a good thing, too, because I still don't have a carseat. I probably won't until the 23rd. Damn my broke-ass self.In other news, we recently adopted a guinea pig. His name is Kenny. He's the sweetest, most adorable little rodent you've ever laid eyes on

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-71643439836665811492007-08-12T22:00:00.000-07:002007-09-02T00:17:53.229-07:00

Let me first say that the person in question is a very sweet, kind hearted woman. I do like her. However, right now a lot of things are pissing me off. With much gusto and all that. This is what I would say to her if I could say it and then give her amnesia so she would forget the whole thing. And just so you know, I'm not always a very nice person. Please stop asking me about the status of my

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-79653065569278957662007-08-12T07:04:00.000-07:002007-08-12T17:17:29.585-07:00

This will likely make sense to no one.For sorrow. There are always those secret hopes one keeps locked away in their hearts, silent and guarded for fear of ridicule or worse. The dreams that press themselves against tightly sealed lips, begging for an audience when there is none to be had. Even when you know the dreams will never be, you hold hope hostage. And you walk your line and you play the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-11595632238636180772007-08-09T11:33:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:24.813-08:00

This is in response to Thordora's August Pulsate Olympics. You can see the original post here.This is the story of my first real friend.I've moved more times in my life than some people two and three times my age. Most of the moves happened before I even turned 13. We were always on the move-- looking back, it's almost as if we were running from something. We never stayed long enough for me to

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-85061373716885104602007-08-07T22:40:00.000-07:002007-08-07T23:55:23.416-07:00

Sometimes I feel like this baby is going to end up with one parent and one trememdously overgrown playmate he calls daddy. Every month the local hospital holds an orientation for expectant parents in order to allow them to pre-admit and give them an idea as to what to expect when they arrive. I found out about it 3 weeks ago and told Erik right away (he was standing right next to me, after all).

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-24231761650484737872007-08-06T22:27:00.000-07:002007-08-06T22:30:33.480-07:00

Hehe... I googled "the wee dragon" and my blog came up as the second link. Then I googled "dance among the stars" and I came up as the 4th link. :) I feel special. I can google myself! (Btw, isn't it awesome that "google" has become a verb?) --Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-718296153841951322007-08-06T01:07:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:24.947-08:00

I'm bored and can't sleep. Damn pregnant belly and mooshed bladder. Oh well. So for my personal entertainment, I shall post a random list. Lists = Fun! :)10 Things I wouldn't want to live without, in no particular order. I could live without them, but then what would be the point? :)1. Bleach Pen-- Awesome. I don't have many white clothes, but I do have plenty of clothes with white on them, and I

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-40348656705243926702007-08-05T22:34:00.000-07:002007-08-05T22:39:51.152-07:00

I was bored with the old template. I don't really like any of the stock templates, but my knowledge of HTML is terribly limited and none of the free templates I could find were what I was looking for. I found out how to add a picture to your header here, and so I messed around on photoshop for a while (Photoshop is fast becoming my new favorite program. And I thought I was awesome with Paint!),

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-11215902582283227772007-08-05T21:43:00.001-07:002008-12-08T17:50:25.337-08:00

I had a rather nice day today. The weather was nice. I didn't have any errands to run or anything to clean. I wandered aimlessly through the mall and looked at cell phones (alas, I hate being poor. I miss my cell!), bought some lunch for Erik and I, had a lovely pedicure a la my little brother, and a nice barbecue with my family and some of our neighbors. Days like these are wonderful in their

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-57708654390508772652007-08-01T16:52:00.000-07:002007-08-03T21:25:42.401-07:00

...When there are no babies to be *seen* and all the showering was done prior to arrival?hehe.I had my baby shower on Saturday. My best friend Sara organized it. It was done up in lime green and navy (two of my favorite colors) and everything matched right down to the refreshments. We played games and opened presents. In general it was pretty fun. Of course one of my friends decided to spill the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-301513584575649582007-07-28T01:44:00.000-07:002007-07-28T01:53:01.745-07:00

Why is it that every single pregnancy site tells me that I am feeling huge, clumsy, ugly, blah blah blah? I mean, this pregnancy thing pretty much generally sucks, but I don't particularly feel like any of those things. In fact, one of the few upsides of this whole alien transportation receptacle deal is that I have had virtually no acne (never really had it to begin with, but there was always a

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-49146076441786498402007-07-28T01:17:00.000-07:002007-07-28T01:38:43.507-07:00

I write. Poems, journals, essays (I am the essay queen), random half-stories that I never finish. I long to fill empty spaces with words. Not that this is very inspiring example, but I think I have a fair amount of creative talent. However, I can't seem to muster up enough courage to believe that I might have enough of it to pay for my supper. So I don't. My mom has always encouraged me to be a

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-20336501470913823212007-07-26T20:35:00.000-07:002007-07-26T20:37:19.238-07:00

Whenever I want to write about something that I think makes me look crazy I'm afraid to. I don't know why. Not very many people read this. And no one who knows me even knows this blog exists. I guess I'm afraid this will come around and bite me in the ass some how, someday.The past few weeks at work have completely sucked. It's been really stressful, which I can generally handle, but on top of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-12895714231114404432007-07-22T01:36:00.001-07:002007-07-22T01:37:49.450-07:00

Oh, and contrary to what the little ticker on the bottom that shows how far along I am, I do not have cankles!!!!! --dragonAlso, I can still see my feet and put on my shoes. So there, you little rainbow colored baby-thing, take that!

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-52423147723919424612007-07-22T01:18:00.001-07:002007-07-22T01:34:38.917-07:00

I feel like I've forgotten where I've been. It's not as if anything of note has happened to me the last few weeks, but it seems as if I'm walking through a cloud. Perhaps it's because of the utter exhaustion I can't seem to shake. I feel like I'm constantly going and going all day long every single day. Even on days I purposely try to do nothing, I still end up feeling drained. Is this because of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-20527623217859265502007-07-06T01:27:00.000-07:002007-07-06T01:48:21.670-07:00

5 hours in a waiting room filled with small, LOUD children and crazy homeless people who think that you shouldn't talk to homeless old ladies because they are wearing bandanas of a specific color, and so they are "flying the rag" or some such crap. Not that I was particularly interested in striking up a conversation with her anyways, but that's a pretty stupid reason not to. Is it just me, or do

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-21141920859574147752007-07-05T00:58:00.000-07:002007-07-05T01:34:32.021-07:00

I've waited some days to post this. I needed time and distance to gather my thoughts.I have written about my troubles with Erik. About my lack of attraction to him and my ongoing frustration with his childish, selfish behavior. Well, I've finally taken care of it.I told Erik around the beginning of June that he needed to get on the ball and find a better job, as well as getting into some kind of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-18375824353050586412007-06-25T14:02:00.000-07:002007-06-28T21:42:26.488-07:00

This is a subject that I have avoided. It is a long and complicated topic, and one that I don't feel as if I can adequately convey in any logical sense. I believe I touched on it once, but to really talk about it is like opening Pandora's box in my mind. I've waited a few days to think about it, to form some sort of cohesive train of thought. So here goes nothing--Matt. He has been my best friend

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-61824945983765945872007-06-22T18:50:00.002-07:002007-06-22T18:52:58.444-07:00

Scattered through the box you will find about 6 pairs of glasses: a child sized pair with round frames and a blue tortoiseshell pattern, a larger pair of silver half frames , a pair of reddish brown plastic half frames with chips in the lenses, a brown plastic pair with squarish lenses, a blue plastic pair with even squarer lenses, and a wide purple metal pair with very square lenses. These are

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-26975818691347987702007-06-21T11:38:00.000-07:002007-06-21T11:58:37.362-07:00

A few days ago I bled. Me + pregnant + bleeding= bad. It was 3 am and I woke up feeling like I had wet my pants. I would have been a happy to find I had, knowing what it could have been. But it was red. RED! Bright-fresh-copper-scented blood. (yeah, too much detail, I know) My first thought was Oh, Shit. My second thought was how incrediby bright it was. When I cut myself, or pick at a scab, it's

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-51226870560427316852007-06-14T11:54:00.000-07:002007-06-14T12:09:40.323-07:00

So today is my 21st birthday. Wee. Normally one would be expected to celebrate by consuming massive amounts of alcohol and waking up the next morning with a tattoo of the word "Mom" or "Bubba" in an inappropriate place. Not that I ever intended to do any of that (not big into drinking or partying), but given that I have no choice but to abstain, I find it to be somewhat irritating. I hate not

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-27666244947180450212007-06-13T14:46:00.000-07:002007-06-21T12:00:26.111-07:00

This post was inspired by a recent post of Thordora's. (I just noticed it said "Thoradora" and not Thordora. Silly me.)The black ball-- it's always there... maybe the size of a pebble sitting in the pit of my stomach, filled with all the hate and rage I've ever felt just begging for the right moment to be released. It's the evil little voice that makes me tear others apart, when I think of how

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-28937055376325662312007-06-12T00:57:00.000-07:002007-06-12T01:21:46.491-07:00

I got a pair of shoes today-- brown and light aqua blue skate shoes on sale at Payless for only $7!!! Two of my favorite things, new shoes (am I the only person who absolutely loves the smell of new shoes?) and great prices! yay!I convinced Erik to look for another job. I had to indirectly threaten to kick him out to get him to do it, but he is finally looking for one. I really hope he keeps it

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-7049770313249127042007-06-09T13:03:00.000-07:002007-06-09T13:24:45.849-07:00

Let's start with the good things that have happened the last few days.I have been trying to get a cell phone for a while but with my credit and history with a certain cell phone company, and the fact that cell phone bill costs are absolutely criminal, I haven't had any luck. My only options would be a prepaid cell phone or a local wireless company that offers unlimited minutes (local and long

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-24663923846329466352007-06-03T22:35:00.000-07:002007-06-03T22:51:29.029-07:00

A few months back while I was still enrolled in school, I had to write an essay for english. Now, I've always prided myself on my superior essay-writing abilities (yes, I know that was a terribly immodest comment) and I was particulary proud of this essay. Unfortunately, I never had the chance to turn it in because the week I finished it also ended up being the week I dropped out (more on that

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-45481596906323600092007-06-02T19:16:00.000-07:002007-06-02T22:09:22.081-07:00

When I think of the baby, I don't think of a tiny helpless infant. I think of a little boy with sandy hair and green eyes, maybe 2 or 3 years old. I've tried to imagine him as a baby, a new and wriggly little bundle to cuddle with and sing to when I'm kept up at crazy hours, but for some reason I just can't picture it. Instead I see myself chasing (no pun intended :P) him across the lawn, or him

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-36031405662622174502007-05-31T00:03:00.001-07:002007-05-31T00:33:17.954-07:00

This is just a random list of observations/ rant about things that drive me nuts about things some parents do. Feel free to ignore me or laugh at my sanctimonious little self while thinking that I'll end up doing all of these things. :)--I work at Taco Bell (yeah, I know, how totally lame is that) so I see this alot: people who come in with their kids and order food, and the kids always want you

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-71079852087284335712007-05-29T23:15:00.000-07:002007-05-29T23:37:58.545-07:00

I'm so tired of this. I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells trying to avoid hurting Erik's feelings. He's just so incredibly emotional. To make matters worse he deals with his emotions like a child.Tonight he apparently wasn't feeling good and went to sleep around7:30 or 8pm, which is incredibly early for him. I was completely unaware as I was in another room reading since early in the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-48669996563095737462007-05-28T20:54:00.000-07:002007-05-28T21:19:26.497-07:00

So I know that pretty much everyone in the U.S. is talking about this particular topic. And for good reason: for the amount of money to fill up my tank (a paltry 8 gallons) I can feed myself and my fiance' for the better part of a week. It's pretty sad. I live abouta 25 minute walk to work. So on cooler days I do make the effort and walk, but the problem is that it is only May and already there

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-28064506089951102472007-05-22T23:09:00.000-07:002007-05-23T00:27:08.916-07:00

I've been reading Thordora's Blog all evening. She talks fearlessly about her battles with bipolar disorder, the loss of her mother, and her struggles with motherhood and life in general. In short, she is my blogging hero. Her blog makes me feel less like a freak. She talks about alot of things I'm afraid to talk about, things I fear and would never have the courage to tell anyone else. In one of

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-12392826735816360762007-05-22T00:22:00.000-07:002007-05-22T00:30:51.538-07:00

Finally! He's gone! Yay! *dances around and throws confetti in the air* Erik and I were terribly pleased to discover that Rob left for Maryland this morning. Unfortunately, last night he came by and picked up the last of his things. While he was here, he and his little slut of a girlfriend vandalized my car last night before he left. They slashed my passenger side rear tire, and poured baby

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-47142265130458136212007-05-16T13:22:00.000-07:002007-05-16T13:43:27.609-07:00

Recently I've begun feeling the baby kick. I've been feeling it the last few weeks, actually, but until about this week I wasn't really sure whether it was the baby our just random bubbles in my tummy. Well, I now am pretty certain that it is the baby. And boy, does it feel weird! The only way to describe what it feels like is that it feels like "bloops". They even make that sound when the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-21485640733295794522007-05-10T22:55:00.000-07:002007-05-10T23:11:13.133-07:00

So today I took care of my correction ticket. $20 and I was out the door. We tried to take care of Erik's correction ticket, but because we got the car insurance at like1:00, and the ticket was written at 10:00, apparently now we have to pay some rediculous $224 fine. Uh, no. Sorry, not happening. Erik, of course, freaked out and when I tried to tell him to calm down and forget about it, we would

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-35116686072518880582007-05-08T22:49:00.000-07:002007-05-08T23:14:57.382-07:00

Maybe it's because I spend a large amount of my time reading articles regarding very small children, but I can't help but think that our roommate is nothing but an overgrown toddler. He's acting like the biggest a'hole I've ever had the misfortune of spending any copious amount of time with. First, he just in general started acting like a jerk. Then he'd throw a huge tantrum when we would ask him

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-79645125108776272002007-05-01T10:43:00.000-07:002007-05-01T11:48:54.902-07:00

I came up with the greatest idea for how to decorate the baby's room. I've never really liked all the baby decor with pastel cartoon animals or everything in baby blue or baby pink or whatever, and last night I came up with this awesome idea on how to decorate the baby's room uniquely as well as pretty cheaply. I'm going to buy a bunch of bandanas in bright green, black, and white, and on one

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-88698676450305915462007-04-29T21:21:00.000-07:002007-04-29T22:21:14.432-07:00

I was reading one of Erik's books today (yes, i know, shocking that Erik owns any books) called Time of Your Life by Michael W. Smith. I was struck by something he talks about towards the end of the book-- a woman who wanted to have a booth at the Lilith Fair in Cleveland in 1999 for a group called Feminists for Life (www.feministsforlife.org). She was not allowed to have her group's booth on the

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-82092209429514667062007-04-28T11:55:00.001-07:002008-12-08T17:50:25.725-08:00

Tonight Erik is playing at Has Beans (My favorite coffee shop in the world!) and I made him this flyer:I always like when I get to do stuff like make flyers and logos for him. I really like graphic design and stuff like that, but I don't think I'm good enough at it to try and make a career out of it. Tonight before the show my mom and brother are coming down for a barbeque which will be fun. So

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-7935564693966915542007-04-28T00:53:00.000-07:002007-04-28T01:13:37.788-07:00

Lisa sees a bug. Either that or a hole or other anomaly on the wall that she mistook for a bug. silly kitty. I don't have too much to say right now but I thought I might post just because I'm trying to post once a day, regardless of the content. Erik and I went to Justin and Katie's tonight. We had mexican food from La Comida (yum yum even if it is just chips and salsa), Erik and Justin jammed

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-30053802904625992152007-04-26T16:49:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:18:48.765-07:00

I hate money. Well, when I have money, I enjoy it very much, but when I don't (which is the far more common scenario), I hate it. I hate not having anything good to eat in the house, I hate freaking out over whether or not they're going to shut off my phone or electricity (I don't have cable, my only frivolous utility is DSL... and it's part of the phone service so I can pretend I'm not really

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-19068456157627835002007-04-25T22:17:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:21:51.290-07:00

I'm not one of those people that enjoys being pregnant, or basks in the "glow" of pregnancy. Personally I feel like this is just something to get through with as little discomfort as possible and make to the other side unscathed. Obviously, I won't be completely unharmed, as pregnancy is, in itself, a rather messy and painful business, even if you're lucky enough to experience relatively few

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-60717390181222499272007-04-24T22:07:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:50:25.922-08:00

I had my ultrasound today. It was exciting. And also rather hard on the bladder :Pbut the results are in:yay! I was really hoping it would be a girl, but that's ok. Boys are nice too. If you teach them to be, that is...--Dragon

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-47762786983377384842007-04-23T22:42:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:20:56.110-07:00

random paragraph from a book never written:"it wasn't my fault when they flooded the treehouses, though there were whispers. we all had this nagging suspicion that the bipeds were up to something far more devious than their previous exploits. if only we had really known, we might have spared ourselves the trouser fires and just run away that night. unfortunately we had no such knowledge, and

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-91287934188579382162007-04-22T23:31:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:19:53.917-07:00

I love books. Absolutely love them. Acutally, I'll go so far as to say that if it has writing on it, there's a very good chance that I'm going to read it. I go through about 1-2 books in a day. Not necessarily every day, because I'm pretty sure that the world would run out of books in my lifetime and by the end of it I would get excruciatingly bored. So I try not to read one every day. That's

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-79148544487536710752007-04-21T23:19:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:19:29.149-07:00

So I'm sure that anyone who ever reads this will think I am a completely terrible mommy (pretty bad since I'm not even an official mommy yet), but I felt the urge to post about it as I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it unless directly questioned by a medical professional.When my baby is born I'm not going to breastfeed. Yep, you heard it. Not. Breastfeeding. At all. And I'm sure

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488833787106378608.post-66709921804468695082007-04-21T19:49:00.000-07:002007-04-26T17:19:14.031-07:00

As of tomorrow I'm 20 weeks pregnant. So far it hasn't been all that great-- first trimester I had constant morning sickness, and then by the time it subsided, I started getting hit really hard by depression and anxiety (yuck!). But since I started getting treatment for it about a week ago, things seem alot better. I'm not sure if its the medication, or just the thought that finally someone is

Dragonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05698870119394137697noreply@blogger.com0