Seeing Red

A few days ago I bled. Me + pregnant + bleeding= bad. It was 3 am and I woke up feeling like I had wet my pants. I would have been a happy to find I had, knowing what it could have been. But it was red. RED! Bright-fresh-copper-scented blood. (yeah, too much detail, I know) My first thought was Oh, Shit. My second thought was how incrediby bright it was. When I cut myself, or pick at a scab, it's not nearly that red. Much darker, and in far smaller quantities. It only lasted about 20-30 minutes, but it seemed like a whole hell of a lot more blood than one would expect, and far more than my midwife seemed to think. Granted, she didn't see it, but still. I was most likely overreacting, but thus far I have had no complications at all, everything has been smooth sailing and the only real drawback was the 12 weeks of daily vomiting. I was totally unprepared for it.

Needless to say, I was scared.

I had visions of a 10-week premature baby, no pre-delivery time off work to prepare for the baby, and (odd how this seemed important) missing Ozzfest. I kept thinking that I had nothing for him other than the small basket of baby clothes my stepdad bought for me. I spent 3 hours online looking up possible causes (placenta previa being the most likely) and what kind of survival rate a 29 week old baby faces. What kind of problems the wee one might face. I don't think I am adequately conveying how incredibly frightened I was. I'm still worried about it. Yesterday at work I kept thinking, What if it happens again? What if it happens while I'm at work? Boy, that would be awkward. Although knowing my manager, she would probably drive me to the emergency room herself.

I was so scared.

I'm still scared.

--dragon Read more!