So I'm sure that anyone who ever reads this will think I am a completely terrible mommy (pretty bad since I'm not even an official mommy yet), but I felt the urge to post about it as I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it unless directly questioned by a medical professional.
When my baby is born I'm not going to breastfeed. Yep, you heard it. Not. Breastfeeding. At all. And I'm sure that everyone is going to berate me like mad and tell me what a horrible person I am and that I am forever sentancing darling little Wee Dragon to be in the "special" class and have 407048234058230844084530 allergies etc. etc., but I simply can't do it. Yes, I know aaaaaaaaaallllllll about the benefits, I've read every pamphlet, web site, book, or other miscellaneous printed material regarding the subject that I can get my hands on. However, I simply find myself incapable of doing it.
The reason is this: first off, I am not a small woman. (And don't bother telling me it helps lose weight) I wear either a 40 DD or 38/40 F in bras, depending on the manufacturer. So my chesticles are approximately equivalent to small housecats (ok... so I'm exaggerating... but not much). Breastfeeding = huge-r. Mucho huge-r. Supremely and with much gusto huge-r. It's already hard enough to find bras or even shirts that fit well as it is. Add to that the fact that I have this wierd sensitivity thing going on, and I absolutely cannot stand to have them touched. I don't even like the feel of loose fabrics or the stream of water from the shower head touching them. They must be securely bundled to my chest at all times in order to avoid them swinging about and hitting myself or others in the eye and so i don't feel like the wieght of them is going to throw me off balance while moving around. So I'm not going to do it. Yes, I know-- I'm a terrible selfish mommy who only cares about my personal comfort. Damn right... well... to an extent.
There are a few (yes, few... as compared to breastfeeding, I know) benefits of bottle feeding: Erik will get to spent equal time feeding the Wee one, so better bonding on his part, as well as feeling more like he has a purpose when it comes to the Wee one. Also, more sleep time for mommy, and I won't be a human paicifier, an idea I detest with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. As for the sleep thing, that really is important, because without enough sleep I am a) pretty much useless, and b) a raging wench on wheels. No one likes me and I like no one when in that state. So go ahead and boo all you want. I have made up my mind and I am a stubborn, stubborn mule when I choose to be. My mom tried to tell me my feelings will change once I see the darling little Dragon, but I know me and I know I won't. As she has said, she seems like she was made to have babies and I seem to utterly lack that propensity. Oh well. This very well may be the only one I have. I'll tell you after the delivery :P
--Dragon
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