If It's Not One Thing...

Let me first say that I feel so much better. Thank you so much to everyone who commented regarding my fear of labor. Of the few people I've told so far about it, some have been very supportive while others have made it seem as if I was being selfish and unreasonable, and I was just very afraid that more people would feel that way. I have a tendency to be a shameless people pleaser, sometimes to the extreme. You have helped me see that it's ok, whether they think so or not, because what matters is what I am comfortable with. Again, thank you. :)

That said, right now Erik is driving me nuts. Remember how about 3 months ago, in June, I kicked him out mainly because he refused to step up to the plate and get a decent job? Well guess what: still no good job.

I have done everything in my power to help him find a job. I have done far more than I should have to, more than anyone else in their right mind would do, I'm sure. I created a resume', found ads for jobs that sounded suitable, I signed him up for a class to learn how to write his own resume' and another class to help him work on his interview skills. I even told him what to wear to an interview. It turns out I'm not the only one-- his aunt and sister bought him a bunch of new clothes that were more professional than his old clothes, everyone in his family, even his sister's boyfriend keep an eye out for jobs he might like and let him know about them.

Regardless of all the help he's getting, he still won't do anything. I've told him in every way I know of that he needs to get a new job, that not only are his expenses going to go up once the baby is born, but he can't even keep up with his current bills. He goes from agreeing with me to giving me all kinds of rediculous reasons as to why he can't search for jobs now. For example, his band is playing in an upcoming festival about 2 weeks from now. Now, I'm pretty good at getting a job easily, but even for me 2 weeks is pretty fast. Not to mention if you let them know that you have prior engagements, most employers understand.

I'm not the only one who is getting fed up with him. Everyone in his family has been after him and feel as if he should be taking responsibility. We are all so frustrated with him. Babies cost money. Now, I have plenty of help if I need it. I have my mom, Sara, my dad, everyone in Erik's family including his mom and stepdad, both his aunts, his uncle, his grandma, and his sister and her boyfriend. So if I ever really need something, there is no shortage of people who will gladly help me out. However, it's still Erik's responsibility.

I'm hoping that he will surprise us all when faced with reality in all its screaming, pooping, chubby-cheeked glory, and do his share. But to be quite honest, I really don't believe he will. And it frustrates and angers me to no end. I don't want to be a bitch. I don't want to have to tell him that either he gets a job and starts helping out financially or I'll have to go to Child Support Services and let them go after him. Because they will attach his wages and he'll have no choice but to get a better job, as he'll have barely anything left. They don't care whether he can pay his bills or not. I'm not that cruel. But if he doesn't hurry up and be a man, then I'll have no choice.

I'm so sick of being put in positions like this. I'd much, much rather be nice. If people would only listen to me, everything would work out so much better. It's not like I say these things because I like the sound of my own voice (and really, I don't. It's too high pitched.). I just don't feel like I have any other choice.

--Dragon Read more!

Little Things

I got a pair of shoes today-- brown and light aqua blue skate shoes on sale at Payless for only $7!!! Two of my favorite things, new shoes (am I the only person who absolutely loves the smell of new shoes?) and great prices! yay!

I convinced Erik to look for another job. I had to indirectly threaten to kick him out to get him to do it, but he is finally looking for one. I really hope he keeps it up until someone actually hires him. The other day we went to McDonald's and I asked for an application for him, and he flat out refused to apply at fast food. That really pissed me off. I work at Taco Bell, and I am far more qualified than he is. I can be a receptionist, secretary, direct care staff, management, retail, cashier/ teller, and probably more than that. He has very few skills, namely direct care and cashier, and it really irritates me that he thinks he can be choosy. I asked him if he thought he was better than me, and he said no, he was just better than them. So I told him he was not better than anyone, and he'd better get off his high horse, because right now I could care less whether he likes his job. Right now anything that offers a steady paycheck is the goal. Hopefully he can find a job other than fast food, but if no one hires him, he better suck it up and take whatever he can get. I know that's gonna be a fight if it comes down to it, but I pray it doesn't come to that. I may even have to get a second job, and that is incredibly hard for me, considering that I get so tired working a full shift right now. If I had to work more than 8 hours, I don't know if I could pull it off. I hope things get better. I can't stand the constant fear of "one more thing".

--dragon Read more!

Some Different Things

Let's start with the good things that have happened the last few days.

I have been trying to get a cell phone for a while but with my credit and history with a certain cell phone company, and the fact that cell phone bill costs are absolutely criminal, I haven't had any luck. My only options would be a prepaid cell phone or a local wireless company that offers unlimited minutes (local and long distance), text messaging, etc. for $45 a month, with no credit check!, which is what I've been wanting to do. The problem has been that although their plan is awesomely cheap, you have to pay full retail price for the phones in order to sign up with them. My best friend had them for the last few months, but she travels a lot and while the plan is great, the service area is not as good as the national carriers. So a few days ago she and her fiance' added her to his plan and she got a new phone. And best of all, she's going to give her old phone to me! yay! Now I can think about getting rid of my rediculous $100/mo. land line bill.

Also very awesome: my mom and stepdad got me a crib and a stroller. They got them used, but the crib is rather new and does conform to current safety standards (I checked) and the stroller is in great shape and as far as I can tell, also conforms to today's standards. So yay! Now I actually have some baby stuff!

Lastly, we are pet sitting for my best friend this week, and her cat and my cat absolutely love each other. They are totally fun to watch, although they're kinda rambunctious at night.

And here's for the bad news:

We finally got Erik's car in to the shop and they replaced the catalytic converter and a gasket in the exhaust system, as well as unclogging the exhaust. Unfortunately, they found the problem that started it all-- a crack in the rear exhaust manifold. So we have to get our hands on a new manifold (the only one the guy at the repair shop could find was around $270 and I found them online for about $130, so he told us to buy it online and then he'll install it), and then pay the $170 for labor to have it installed.

On top of the troubles with Erik's car, I filled up the gas tank 2 days ago and started smelling gas when I was driving. I already had an appointment at the repair shop to look at my brakes, so I took it in and told them about the gas smell too. It turns out I have a leak in the gas line, and that needs to be replaced, as well as the front brakes and the rear wheel drums (?), which will cost about $360.

So between the two of us, neither of our cars are really working (Erik's is drivable but the more we drive it the worse the problem is going to get), and it's going to cost more than $650 to get them both fixed. Sucks Sucks Sucks.

On the plus side, I think I was finally able to convince Erik to get a job that's going to give him more hours, because I sat him down and added up all his hours for each week (he gets his schedule for the entire month all at once, lucky him) and it added up to about 36 hours for the first 2-week pay period and 27 for the second. That's less than part time. That's practically 1/3 time. I work more than that, and I physically can't work full time. But if he gets a job working 40 hours a week then we may be able to actually pay our bills, and on time for once.

--dragon Read more!